CaT Reviews: Mig X: Revolution!
This is the seventh episode of CaT Reviews!, this time featuring Mig X: Revolution, as requested by Migster7! Story Well, the last thing I reviewed was really long, so I guess i can only hope this movie isn't as long as- (Sees that this movie is even longer than The Black Knight) DAMN YOU MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG!!! (Coughs) Okay, since this movie is a followup to a mini-series, let's go through a small recap of what happened: By which I mean go read the miniseries if you want to know what the hell happened because I ain't got the time to explain all that. It won't take you terribly long and it's not a bad read. I'll wait. ---- Anyways, this movie begins with- >'"Dedicated to...Toon, Jack, Alan, Yopo, Sci, and Sif. Thank you guys for helping me out, making me feel better about my writing, and being such amazing friends. I'll always remember and cherish each and every one of you! :)"' >'"Dedicated to...Toon, Jack, Alan, Yopo, Sci, and Sif.' >'"Toon."' Well, this got about ten million times more awkward in hindsight. So, the story itself begins with a prolouge that consists of Mig being trapped and tormented in a trippy nightmare world controlled by Terox. This thing is called the Transmundane, and no, it does not have anything to do with Tumblr. Act 1 Act 1 begins with a dark figure killing a man, mentioning something about needing a 'vessel'. Not too long after, the police, Dan, and Mig arrive on the scene to investigate, their discussion revealing that killings like this have been happening over the past week, apparently committed by someone they've dubbed 'Count Dracula', who may or may not be Count Chocula gone AWOL. Mig goes to investigate a shape on the ground near the dead person, getting fired in the process (as you do), and everyone around him suddenly starts having a collective seizure and falling unconscious. 'Count Dracula' then reveals himself, stating his name is 'Dread'. He and Mig fight, but this ends poorly for Mig, with Dread getting away cleanly and doing something to his uncle, Dan. After he leaves, everyone wakes up, which is quickly followed up by Mig himself having a seizure and falling unconscious. ---- Mig wakes up in a hospital, being attended to by a nurse. She explains that while Mig should be fine, Dan's not doing too hot. In response to this news, Mig promptly assaults the nurse, rips out his IVs (and somehow doesn't pass out from blood loss since he's basically opening up a massive hole directly into a large vein), and promptly vomits and falls over, pulling off a bit of his hospital gown to reveal a symbol of some kind. A group of doctors and nurses come in and restrain him, one of them grabbing a sedative. Mig: (eyes spinning) N-N-NO (screaming). WHERE IS DAN? WHERE IS RYAN? WHERE IS VIRGINIA? WHERE IS TRINITY!? OR WAYNE!? WHERE ARE THEY!? They manage to sedate him and put him back on his bed, slapping him with some restraints. The sedation doesn't last too long, however, as a girl named Shiar comes into the room and wakes Mig up. This is shortly followed by her dad, Sly, coming in and telling Mig that Dan is not doing so hot and by not doing so hot I mean he did the ded. Of course, seeing as how no last name for Sly has been given at this point, I can only assume that this Sly is, in fact, Sly Marbo The doctor lets Mig off the bed to see Dan, which Mig promptly goes to do at high speeds. He gets to Dan's room, where a bunch of people are gathered. Mig: (yelling) NO! YOU CAN'T DIE (crying). Two doctors promptly roll out a gurney carrying Dan's body in a bodybag, so, uh, I think Mig was a bit late on that one. Mig asks to see the body, but the doctors say that they need to take Dan to the morgue and that Mig can see him there. That goes over about as well as you'd think. So Mig and the doctors start heading to the morgue, but are interrupted by Dread coming in and freezing time for everyone except Mig and himself or something. Their conversation goes something like this: Mig: Screw off Dread: lol no Mig: Then kill me Dread: lol no Mig: Why tho Dread: cuz i need you fam Mig: Fite me irl Dread: lol nah seeya fam Mig: Why were you even here So, as Mig is presumably trying to figure out what the hell just happened, the doctors make it to the morgue with Dan's body, only for them to be brutally murdered by Dread, who walks up to Dan's body. Dread: He has been waiting...so...long. Daniel's dead now, you can finally awaken. Dread starts doing some weird shit to Dan's body, apparently sorta reviving him(ish). Before he can finish, a wild Mig appears and uses the Gammatrix to activate SUPAH MODE without actually turning into an alien. He scuffles with Dread a bit and makes off with Dan's body, but all of a sudden, Dan wakes up! Sorta. See, Dan's body now belongs to Apokalipse, a Celestialsapien who's been trapped in Dan's mind all along who, despite having finally escaped that particular prison, is evidently still trapped in the 90s. Apokalipse is apparently not a big fan of Dread, and after everybody somehow ends up on the roof, the two begin duking it out, destroying large chunks of the hospital. Mig naturally tries to crawl away from the chaos while wondering what in the ever-loving hell is going on, while Apokalipse suddenly collapses as Dan tries to take back over. Suddenly, weird red symbols form around Apokalipse, smacking him with some red sparks as a silhouetted figure appears in front of him. This gets Dread very worried and Mig very confused, and seeing how long this movie is, I'm feeling both of those emotions very much right now. Dan, temporarily in control, recognizes the figure and cusses it out for sticking Apokalipse in him all those years ago, among other things. Apakolipse/Dan: YOU TURNED MY BROTHER INTO A MANIAC, YOU INJURED MY NEPHEW, YOU KILLED MY FATHER, YOU BETRAYED ME AND STOLE MY POWER. Mig tries to walk over there and figure out what the hells is going on, but gets tripped up by Dread. The figure notices Mig and starts taunting him, with Mig recognizing his voice. The figure summons a bunch of bodies and blows them up, using the blood spray to outline his body's shape, revealing himself to be Terox. He turns to Dread, evidently disappointed that he couldn't get Apokalipse in full control of Dan's body yet, and beckons him to come closer. This turns out to be a bad idea, as Terox promptly pulls a Dio. (Warning: Blood and giblets) After this, Terox nonchalantly grabs Dan and swiftly screws off, leaving Mig on the rooftop, which crumbles away and sends Mig ungracefully smashing into the pavement below. ---- Welp, that's Act 1 squared away. Now, you might be thinking "CaT, that wasn't so hard, why did this review take so long if the movie is like that?!" Well, the answer to that is fairly simple. Act 1 was the easy part. Act 2 We begin this part with another cut to the Transmundane, where Terox is having waaaay too much fun fucking with Mig. Their conversation goes a little something like this: Mig: Fak u Terox: Fak u Mig: FAK U Terox: FAK U Mig: FAK U Terox: FAK U Mig: ... Terox: ... Mig: Fak u Terox: Fak u Terox then screws off to the real world, leaving Mig in the Transmundane. Almost immediately after, Apokalipse suddenly pops into the Transmundane through a portal, and Mig cuts a deal with him. ---- We then cut to a flashback to not long after the ending of Mig X, where people are flipping the hell out because, well, if you still didn't know, the ending basically went like this: Mig ain't doing so hot in the mental department, and Dan has an in-head meeting with Apokalipse. He manages to stop Apokalipse from taking control and tries to calm down Mig. The two later receive a car ride from SLY MARBO (actually this segment states that his last name is 'Shreen' but 'Marbo' sounds better) over to the neighboring city of Soledad. ---- After that, we see an African-American priest standing outside of a church in Soledad, observing all the cars entering the city. All of a sudden, time stops around him, and a wild Terox appears, tossing Alan around and messily transforming him into Dread. I would just like to point out that Alan does a surprising amount of talking during this, which is rather impressive seeing as how his lungs were presumably annihilated by Terox shoving both hands into his chest pretty early on. Anyways, once Dread is complete, he's naturally not all too happy about the circumstances and attempts to fight Terox, which predictably ends in him getting absolutely shrekt. Terox removes his memories and brainwashes him into being his servant, gives him instructions on what to do, then promptly vanishes. ---- Back with Mig and SLY MARBO, their car is entering the city of Soledad. Shiar remarks that they can't buy a house, but SLY MARBO waves her off by saying the city was evacuated because of a Black Plague outbreak two years ago and that the housing is currently first come, first serve. Mig finds this suspicious because duh, but waves it off because dumb. After everyone claims a house, we go through a few domestic disputes, which just so happen to reveal that SLY MARBO is EVIL, having killed his own wife in the service of Terox. I mean come on dude, I know they make some high-quality all-American flip-flops, but that's going a bit too far. ---- A couple months later, SLY MARBO has started up a police department in Soledad, and Dan and Mig go their for job interviews. Mig is the first up, and swiftly blackmailing SLY MARBO into getting him the job. He comes back out into the lobby to find Dan making out with...Monica? Okay, the only other time outside of the police station sequence this character appears in the movie is in the opening prologue taking place in the Transmundane, and that was just Terox in disguise. Combine that with the reveal about Soledad later in the movie, and that means... That means... After those likely unintentional yet still horrifying implications, Mig says hi to Shiar, who is also waiting in the lobby. She talks about a book she's reading that's basically 'BTFF References: The Novel', but gets miffed when Mig isn't that interested in it. Mig brings up the domestic scuffles he's been hearing, which causes Shiar to basically FLIP THE FUCK OUT, LIKE HOLY FUCKING HELL GET THIS KID SOME ADDERALL. Back to SLY MARBO's office, Dan enters and things go wrong very quickly, as SLY MARBO reveals his true colors and tries to bring out Apokalipse. The two fight momentarily, but this swiftly gets shut down by SLY MARBO using his mind powers to sedate Dan. Meanwhile, in the lobby, Shiar is assaulting the hell out of Mig, but ultimately gets dragged away by a couple of police officers. They take her to some sort of secret room, and surprise! A wild Dread appears! She gets strapped to a chair and is forced to watch a video 'Clockwork Orange' style until SLY MARBO comes in to explain what's going on. Well, after he makes a standard villain comment about the last 'test subject'. SLY MARBO: Sigh, farewell Yopo Felton, but you weren't ready. He didn't expand his horizons. Anyways, they begin the 'procedure', which consists of SLY MARBO using his powers to make Shiar glowy while Dread shoves an appendage into her chest. This is swiftly interrupted, however, as SLY MARBO evidently didn't think waking up the Celestialsapien inside Dan that hates his guts and then leaving him unattended would be a bad idea. Spoiler alert: It was. He enters the room, promptly wrecks everybody's shit, and heals up Shiar. He then forces SLY MARBO to give Dan the job and walks out of the hidden room, allowing Dan to take back control. Dan, evidently having no memory of what just happened, simply remarks that he thinks he got the job. ---- Later, Mig goes to Galvan B to talk to Tekk, the creator of the Gammatrix. After a brief skirmish, Tekk gives him the SUPAH MODE gauntlets we saw earlier. Things are going well until Mig mentions Soledad, which is when Tekk starts acting rather panicked. He makes Mig leave, shortly after which he receives a visit from Terox. They chat for a bit, but then Terox leaves, having Dread and Pslycho (the villain name for SLY MARBO) murder Tekk. ---- Alright, that's Act 2 out of the way. I'm pretty sure that was actually the longest act in the movie, so it should smooth(er) sailing from here. On the plus side, I'm doing way better right now than I was with the Black Knight review at this point, so that's something. On with the show! Act 3 Act 3 begins with Mig back in the Transmundane, being forced to live through horrific visions based around his past failures. This ends when Terox decides to lecture him a bit on why he's such a failure, and reveal the movie's big twist: Soledad is the Transmundane. Well, part of it, anyway. A part of it that's in a 'solid' state, connected to the real world. Terox can't truly enter Soledad at this point, so he's had to work through ethereal forms and minions up to this point. He reveals to Mig that Shiar has become a replacement for Dread, and Mig asks where Dan is. Terox doesn't answer him, instead opting to pop over to the other side of the Transmundane and visit Apokalipse, who is currently in control of Dan's body. They chat for a bit, with Apokalipse pointing out that Terox is shit out of luck since he doesn't have enough power to exit the Transmundane. Terox counters by pointing out that that's why Mig and Apokalipse were taken to the Transmundane, which is slowly draining them of their energy and funneling it into him. Once that's done, he can exit into Soledad, absorb SLY MARBO and Shiar, and finally exit the dimension fully and take over the universe or something. ---- In Soledad, the city has basically turned into Hell. Black and red rain is falling from the sky, bodies are piled up everywhere, and fire is burning across the city. Suddenly, a government van barrels into town, driven by a Special Operations officer named Toon. He gets out of the van upon finding Shiar, immediately grilling her about what the hell is going on. The two have a bit of a back-and-forth, where Toon states that he had a whole team with him before they 'randomly died' (what?), which is interrupted by SLY MARBO bursting onto the scene. Toon and SLY MARBO have a short fight scene, which is further interrupted by Terox finally using Shiar to fully enter Soledad, having gained enough energy to sustain his real body. SLY MARBO controls Toon's mind, making him shoot down Shiar, and goes over to Terox, expecting some sort of praise for removing what he believed to be the last weak link. Unfortunately for him, as Terox still had a use for Shiar, this doesn't go over well, and Terox just kinda holds him in place while Toon takes the opportunity to shoot the hell out of him. Before dying, SLY MARBO seems to come to his senses a bit, revealing that Toon is his brother (because reasons), which is promptly followed by Terox bitch-slapping his head off. He then turns his attention to Toon, smacking him into a nearby building, and then absorbing SLY MARBO's corpse. As it turns out, Shiar's not dead (somehow), but Terox says it doesn't matter, as absorbing her uncle instead gave him the extra energy he needed anyways. As Terox's body floats into the air and begins some sort of transformation, Toon runs over to Shiar and reveals that he's her uncle, telling her that he'll buy some time for her to leave Soledad. Before he can do this, however, Terox absorbs the Transmundane, including Soledad and everyone and everything in it. With Soledad literally not existing anymore, Terox lands in Central City (the city that Mig blew up) and attempts to declare his victory, but is interrupted by Mig suddenly showing up. He and Apokalipse managed to survive the Transmundane somehow (likely through Apokalipse's abilities), but Mig has pretty much become one with the Gamma energy at this point. He fights Terox, pointing out that Terox making the Transmundane out of Mig's own Gamma energy was kind of a dumb move. During all of this, Apokalipse regains his true form, and SLY MARBO and Dread return momentarily before being dissolved away. After some more fighting, Mig manages to yank Dan, Shiar, and Toon back out of the Transmundane energy fueling Terox, restoring them as well. Mig goes to keep fighting, but Dan tries to get him to stop, pointing out that the Gamma energy will destroy him. Mig ignores this and goes to fight Terox for the last time, managing to absorb the Transmundane's energy and using it to blow apart Terox atom by atom, finally destroying him for good. His body starts to 'unravel', and after some goodbyes and an internal monologue, Mig's body disappears as the Gamma energy fades off into the air. Now, when did this originally air? Around Christmas, you say? After that, Apokalipse uses his powers to undo all the damage done in the movie, but states that he isn't able to bring back Mig or undo the corruptions of Dread and SLY MARBO because...well, it's not really clear. He says he's too weak to bring back Mig because he turned into energy (even though undoing that would technically require a crapton LESS power than what he spent on restoring the city, but whatever), but there's never a reason given as to why he can't undo the corruptions. Let's just say 'Because Movie' and carry on. Anyways, Apokalipse leaves, Toon and Shiara plan to go to DC together, and Dan looks up into the sky to symbolically say some final words to the late Mig. The universe evidently hears him and acknowledges this by dropping the Gammatrix to him, ending the movie. Characters Mig, the main character, is your average angsty teenage protagonist, to be honest. He doesn't do much to make him stand out, but he is written well, so there's that. Terox sort of steals the show in terms of interesting characters. It's surprisingly rare to find villains with this much of a cocky attitude, and the way he simultaneously screws around with people but keeps his ultimate focus on the job at hand is entertaining to watch. He even maintains an interesting presence when having reached his final form, something that a lot of villains lack after achieving their goals. The other characters are pretty damn well-written, albeit not without their awkward or out-of-place moments. For example, Dan and Shiar both had moments in the movie where they flipped out way too easily, and these moments were never brought up again. Of course, these moments are relatively rare, and most character interactions are perfectly fine. Writing The writing of this movie is...well, it's pretty average, to be honest. Most of the grammar is fine, but there are a lot of moments that just feel clunky or use the wrong words. For example, there's "He is killed, dumb ass", or the classic "a steel beam carrying hot steam, which helped spread the warm air from the furnace around the hospital" Vent. The word you're looking for here is "vent". Granted, I originally thought you were talking about a pipe or something, but that's just because I got confused as to what you were talking about. Heating systems like this work by using either steam or air, not both. Conclusion Alright, alright, so, after all these months of writing the review, what are my final thoughts on the movie? Well, I liked it. I really, really liked it. It was very enjoyable for the most part, save for a couple references that made me cringe across the room a la Palpatine. It's probably the best thing I've reviewed yet, and while that may not be saying too much, that's still pretty damn good. And so, my final rating for this movie is 8.7/10, M.I.G. is M.L.G. Category:Reviews